Murphy's Military Laws

1. You are not Superman
2. If it's stupid but works, it's not stupid.
3. Don't look conspicuous. It draws fire. (This is why aircraft carriers are called Bomb Magnets.)
4. When in doubt, empty your magazine.
5. Never share a foxhole with anyone braver than you are.
6. Never forget that your weapon was made by the lowest bidder.
7. If your attack is going really well it's an ambush.
8. No battle plan ever survives contact with the enemy.
9. All five-second grenade fuses will burn down in three seconds.
10. Try to look unimportant because the bad guys may be low on ammo.
11. If you are forward of your position, the artillery will fall short.
12. The enemy diversion you are ignoring is the main attack.
13. The important things are always simple.
14. The simple things are always hard.
15. The easy way is always mined.
16. If you are short of everything except enemy, you are in combat.
17. When you have secured an area, don't forget to tell the enemy.
18. Incoming fire has the right of way.
19. Friendly fire... isn't.
20. If the enemy is in range, "SO ARE YOU."
21. No combat ready unit has ever passed inspection.
22. Beer math is two beers times 37 men = 49 cases.
23. Body count math is two guerillas plus one portable plus two pigs = 37 enemy killed in action.
24. Things that must be together to work, usually can't be shipped together.
25. Radios will fail as soon as you need fire support desperately.
26. Anything you can do can get you shot--including doing nothing.
27. Tracers work both ways.
28. The only thing more accurate than incoming enemy fire is incoming friendly fire.
29. Make it tough for the enemy to get in and you can't get out.
30. If you take more than your fair share of objectives, you will have more than your fair share of objectives to take.
31. When both sides are convinced that they are about to lose, they are both right.
32. Professional soldiers are predictable, but the world is full of amateurs.
33. The most dangerous thing in the combat zone is an officer with a map.
34. The buddy system is essential to your survival; it gives the enemy somebody else to shoot at.
35. There is nothing more satisfying that having someone take a shot at you... and miss.
36. Murphy was a grunt.